22 Things To Remember Next Time You Flare

Flares don’t just affect you physically, there’s also a tremendous emotional/psychological affect, as well. The thing about your mind is that just because your body isn’t moving doesn’t mean your mind isn’t running around in circles. Sometimes, we have all we can do to just survive in the present moment.

So here’s some things to keep in mind the next time you’re in the throes of a flare:

  1. You will get through this (really). You have gotten through it before.
  2. You are not being lazy. Taking care of yourself is doing something.
  3. The dirt/dust/laundry/house projects will still be there when you’re feeling better. Trust me.
  4. You will get to the dirt/dust/laundry/house projects. Eventually. You always do.
  5. Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Not everything needs to be done now.
  6. Be kind to yourself. If your kids were sick would you hound them with guilt and admonish them for resting? More likely you’d offer to make them soup or sit with them. You deserve the same.
  7. Move. No matter how much it hurts, you still need to move. This could be as simple as clenching and unclenching your fist or bending and extending your leg. The more you sit or lay, the more stiffness will set in. Stiffness=pain.
  8. You are not “so and so” on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. Do not compare yourself to other people. You have no idea what their reality is, how can you possibly compare yourself to “that”- when you don’t even really know what “that” is? (Don’t believe me? how many selfies do you take before posting one?)
  9. Give yourself permission to be down. Your body really does know itself.
  10. Drink water. No matter how awful you feel. Hydrate. If you can’t stomach much at a time, take small sips. Dehydration will only make everything worse-your body needs water. And God forbid a migraine comes too.
  11. You are so much stronger than you think. Really.
  12. Celebrate every victory. If that is as simple as being happy you showered, so be it. Showering is still an achievement.
  13. Try to be present in this moment. Continuously thinking and worrying about the future isn’t helpful. Just get through here and now.
  14. Look for beauty. No matter how awful it is, there is still beauty. A dog’s kiss, your cat purring, a beautiful sunset, time spent with those you love. No matter how bleak you feel, remember there is still beauty.
  15. Eat well. Trust me, I know how Herculean this may seem. I’m not saying cook. Try reaching for a banana, apple chips or a yogurt. While processed food is usually easier, it won’t help your body.
  16. Let go of the guilt. This resonates with #6. Guilt is SO counterproductive. It won’t help. It will only create more stress and anxiety. You didn’t choose this.
  17. Go outside. This one has led me to contemplate murdering my Husband when he pushes this on me. But it does help. If you can only handle five minutes, so be it. The clean air and sunlight helps.
  18. Try to smile or laugh. Find dancing parrots or playful kitten videos.
  19. Remember to be grateful. Yup. I know it’s almost impossible to feel grateful when you feel like cutting off your arm with a spoon may be less painful. But there is always something to be grateful for; like having ice cream in the house.
  20. Lose yourself in love. Hug your dog, hug your spouse/significant other, listen to your kids. Remind yourself why you fight.
  21. It’s okay to be down, angry or hopeless. Cry. Swear. Yell. Throw things. (I prefer pillows and empty water bottles) Whatever gets you through this moment. Do it.
  22. Do something or have someone else do something you love. My best example of this is my Husband painting my toes to cheer me up. That’s true love.

From one person having a really bad week, to another. We got this. Well, sort of. Even when it feels like we don’t.


Posted by

Fighting with Fibro and Living With Purpose. Mom, Wife, Blogger and animal lover. Fighting with Chronic Illness on a minute by minute basis; sometimes winning.

19 thoughts on “22 Things To Remember Next Time You Flare

    1. Thanks Michelle. I agree! It’s nice to be in a “community” of people who understand. I’m new to sharing all of this, but it’s really reassuring and comforting to hear others who feel the same and understand. I don’t think I realized how much I needed that!!


      1. I am a 21 year old.. college student struggling with fibromyalgia. I’ve been in a flare for the past three weeks. Thank you so much for this!! It’s hard when your surrounded by people that don’t understand. I needed to see this 💕& be reminded I am not alone 💖 even though it can feel that way 💖

        **I agree cute animal videos are a great distraction! Puppy ones are my favorite haha🐾🐶

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m so sorry about the flare, Alexandria! They’re just the worst. It must be super challenging while being in College, too?!. It can totally feel like we’re alone-but as you just said, I have found comfort in the others like me, too. Sometimes, it just takes “one” to know “one” and to truly comprehend all we live through. But you just being in College (with Fibro) shows how very strong you are!! Even when it doesn’t feel that way. I’m so glad you liked the post and I hope you’ll follow my Blog!
        Maybe I should start posting puppy videos here too??!!! 🤔
        ps maybe they have Fibro groups at your school??


  1. These are all such important things, yet hard to do when we’re struggling. Thank you for the wonderful reminders – I’ll bookmark this to read the next time I need a nudge in the right direction. I hope you can refer back to your own wise words when you need them too  ♥
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for reminders. After living with fibro for 35+ years, I sometimes feel I am in a constant flare. Fortunately, God blessed me with the most wonderful husband ever who understands that on the very worse days what I need most from him is a good massage and total peace and quiet to rest. Everyone has to find their own ways to cope and you seem to have some good ideas.


    1. Wow! 35 years is a long time to suffer, Donna. I’m sorry. I totally get what you mean about being in a constant flare. I feel the same way sometimes. I’m glad you have a supportive Husband!!! That’s crucial, to me. I couldn’t do this without my Husband, either!! I’m glad you liked the post. You’re right, we all have to find what works, individually. It’s a process, right??


  3. So glad I found all of you. I’ve been suffering for over 20 yrs and was finally fully diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Chronic fatigue syndrome and PTSD 6 yrs ago. I also have heart disease as well. My faith is what keeps me going together with my husband and adult daughters. We are becoming grandparents for the first time this June and I keep praying I can be half of the person I was do I can enjoy my grand baby. I’m 55 and sometimes I feel so much older. I miss what I used to be , my career and the abilities I had but through it all I’m thankful to God for all that He’s given me. Thank you for this great blog. Your posts are great.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi. I”m sorry I can’t address you by your name, but you didn’t leave your name on your comment- so, I will just say I am really happy you found me too!! My Husband pointed out how positive and uplifting your comments were-I have to agree. I’m glad you have your faith and family for inspiration. I am sure that you will be an absolutely wonderful Grandparent, no matter how you are feeling, but I will hope and pray that you find some relief to be the Grandparent you want-I fear the same thing. I’m glad you got a diagnosis. While it doesn’t change anything, I found it to be very helpful knowing what I was up against. I, like you, lost a career I adored and am only a shell of what I used to be. I thank God every day for all the Blessings I am surrounded by, despite my illnesses, pain and exhaustion. There is still much to live for. I am thrilled you commented and I hope you will continue to do so.
      Much Love, Stace


      1. So sorry Stacey I thought my name showed. My name is Sandy. Thank you so much for your quick response. You are right there is so much to live for and each day we are given that opportunity to start over. Each day I do give thanks and truly feel lucky to have all that I have in my life. I’ve searched so long for a fibromyalgia family but never really found something that spoke to my heart. I just happen to be on Pinterest a few days ago when I found you. Thank you again for your wonderful posts and for sharing your life with us. It’s surely not easy but together it makes it not so lonely.
        God bless you. Look forward now to reading your previous posts.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Sandy!! It’s SO nice to meet you!! Sometimes my responses are slower when I’m not feeling well (sorry) or I’m at the Doctors, but I always try to respond as promptly as I can. Thank you for the Blessings, I’ll take all I can get!!! I genuinely believe love, gratitude and hope are the things that keep me going-no matter how bad it gets! I know I have much more than many, so I really try to focus on that and try to convey its importance to readers. I’m glad you found me too and all the wonderful people who interact here! It’s really just an amazing thing to be able to connect and share this incredibly difficult disease with others who understand. Having a “Fibro Family” (thanks 😉 I’m stealing your word!!) is the one thing I was missing in this “fight”. So it’s really nice to have it now. I’ve heard from several people who have also been navigating this alone. I’m glad we’re now coming together! Glad to have you Sandy!!! Thanks so much for being here!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you. I don’t have fibro, but I do have MS, diagnosed 7 months ago.
    I’ve been going thru a flare and I needed to read this. Sometimes, it’s very comforting to know I’m not the only one who’s fighting. It gives me a sense of family, of team work… and it helps me to persevere. The one that really got to me was Number 16. As a Mom I want to give more, be there more…BE more! But, lately I can’t. And that’s ok. Some days will be better that others. I have learned to take it a day at a time and to actively enjoy the “little” things, being grateful for being alive.

    My kids are amazing. They do make me smile, with them I’ve climbed the monkey bars, went down slides, had cake flour kitchen fights, danced like nobody’s watching and laughed and silly jokes. They’ve taught me how to let go.

    Like the time my youngest made a mess on the floor while using school paints, and my oldest scolded him and said: “What a mess! Knowing Mamma hurts. We have to clean all that up before she sees it.”, without realizing I was already behind him. I walked up, making my presence known, hugged him and sat down right next to the mess and said “Who wants to paint a rainbow?!” My oldest smiled broadly, surprised, and quickly got more art supplies. My youngest painted happily and even got the giggles. Before long we where all covered in paint!
    Moments like those are priceless. 🙂

    As for currently:
    The other day I had a Flare MRI done, and as I saw the digital images of my brain on the screen (besides feeling crummy due to everyday MS related symptoms + getting over the flu) I felt defeated. I agree with you, chronic illnesses can affect our emotions as well. Did I cry? Yes. Did I feel angry/dissapointed? Absolutely. (Number 21) But, I decided to continue onward after it lasted days with me either anxious to do housework or depressed under the covers. I told myself: “Enough, God is with me. I can’t fall apart now.” (Which reminded me of Numbers 1, 2, 3 & 7) So, as this list shows, I am human after all!

    Thank you again Stacey. for reminding us that if chronic illness is real, so is our willingness to fight. For all warriors out there, I hear you. Let’s do this! ♡
    – Jayleen
    38 yr old Mom of 2 boys


    1. Hi Jayleen. Thanks so much for the very thoughtful post. I’m so happy to meet you!
      I’m sorry about the diagnosis. Personally, I am finding that while our Illnesses may be different, it seems like a few of the underlying struggles are similar. So I’m glad that you find strength in connecting with others. Sometimes, it’s just comforting to have people know exactly what you’re going through. I love the story about your kids. It’s really amazing that they have such empathy and that they want to help. Sounds to me like you’re doing a great job, despite all you have going on. We always want to be more for our kids. I can completely relate…..but maybe it’s ok that they know we’re human too. I was fortunate there, my kids were older when I got sick. It’s tough, though, still. The Mom guilt always creeps in.
      I’m so sorry about the MRI. Oh gosh. I can completely relate….it’s an incredible testament to your strength that you got back up again to fight. It’s impossible to not crumble sometimes, we’re only human and can only take so much. I’m glad you were able to mourn it and even better, you got up again. Sometimes, getting back up from the punches is one of the hardest things to do. BUT……here we are. Standing and fighting; sometimes just one fight at a time. Thank you for cheering us all on.
      Fighting (for those two boys) makes you a warrior. The guilt, love and emotions make you a Mom.
      I get “it”, Jayleen. You’re doing great. ❤️️
      I’m SO glad you commented and I hope you’ll come back again.

      Love, Stace


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