Injuries, Elopements and Flares. Oh My!

So I will admit, maybe this blog post would be more fitting as a newsletter, but since I do not have a newsletter and the thoughts of creating one exhaust me, instead I’m writing this post. So hi! I’ve missed you all!!

I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve had the time to sit and write. Life here, has been insane and overwhelming; even for 2020. I have to admit, I feel a little rusty as I sit to draft.

I just took my second Prednisone of the day, day five of a 12 day steroid blast. It comes as no surprise that the events of the last several weeks/months equated to a flare I just couldn’t pull out of. This time around, my Achilles were newly involved and so painful, I was having difficulty walking. It’s always interesting to have a whole new body part involved in a flare….ones you never give any thought to or consider might give you trouble. I wish I could compare it to the prize at the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box, but somehow, it’s never that exciting. Needless to say, the Prednisone has enabled me to walk again and while, as always, I’m not pain free, I’m at least off the couch for part of the day again.

SO…..let’s get into the good stuff and what landed me in a flare, because that’s actually way more fun to talk about.

For those of you who weren’t aware, my Eldest Son, 23 was very seriously hurt on June 29th. So much so, he had to move back home with us (and his Dad part time) and was unable to use his hands or arms. After fighting with Workman’s Comp and his Employer, he was finally operated on 3 1/2 weeks later. While all of us are used to suffering, it’s an entirely different thing to watch your child be so seriously hurt and to struggle SO much to get them appropriate care. I think the scariest thing of all of this, was my fear his injuries would lead to a life like mine. After ten years of FightingwithFibro, I’ve gotten pretty darn good at inferring the meaning of what Doctors say, even when they don’t say something outright. So it was not missed when the Surgeon told us that he hoped to be able to give my Son “a few good years of functionality” in his hands. While I never discussed what I knew that to mean with my Son, we knew that meant a grim prognosis and when it comes to your hands, a grim prognosis is catastrophic. Emotionally, I was killed to think of my Son as possibly struggling with Disability. Especially at only 23.

It was a couple of months of endlessly hiding in the bathroom to cry, watching my Son struggle and his inability to manage the most rudimentary tasks of eating, drinking or dressing. Almost three months out, I couldn’t be any more grateful for the genius Surgeon that put my Humpty Dumpty back together again. While initially stating he hoped to buy him a few years of function, the Surgeon is now saying that he should regain function. Albeit, probably not until approaching Christmas time. It has been a crazy, bittersweet experience to swell with emotion and gratitude at watching my Son pick up a fork or take a drink on his own. It’s like reliving his toddler years all over again. We still have months of twice weekly Occupational and Physical Therapy appointments (an hour away) to attend and a still very long road to recovery. I am just thankful that that recovery will come for him. As for his scars, well, those don’t have quite as fantastic an outlook…with all due respect, they are a little gruesome. However, they’re a beautiful reminder of a terrible experience and the miracle of overcoming it.

While ALL of this was going on, my Daughter and her Fiance had planned and canceled three weddings due to the pandemic and the calamity surrounding rescheduling with all the vendors. So when the third cancellation came, they told us they were just going to go ahead and get married. Now I may be sick and spend alot of my life on the couch, BUT, that stubborn streak within me is still going strong. Not one to be easily defeated, we came up with a better plan. We decided to run away, immediate family only and have a tiny wedding, instead. With all the kids had sacrificed, it just seemed a shame they didn’t get any semblance of the wedding they were so close to.

SO, we threw out tradition, eliminated all our vendors and rushed to find a wedding dress that could arrive in time for their new nuptials. As an added precaution, we got a little wild and crazy and I became an Ordained Minister. We decided that if we were going to do this, there was NO way we were going to plan it a fourth time and not have it happen. Becoming a Minister meant that even if we did it on a Wednesday, in the kitchen, that these two kids were getting hitched. And along the way, a couple of unbelievable things happened…..we found a homeowner, willing to rent to us, her home overlooking the ocean and our original Photographer agreed to drive down to still photograph the wedding.

I am SO happy to say that my Daughter Caitlin and her Husband were married, overlooking the Atlantic on August 30th. It certainly wasn’t what they (or any of us) planned and it was a very bittersweet occasion to be missing most of the important people in our lives; those we love the most. But the day turned out to be absolutely perfect and accomplished what had really been the goal all along; saying “I Do”. As it turned out, many people were relieved we canceled, due to the Coronavirus. While everyone certainly wanted to be there, many people were very nervous or conflicted to do so and doing it the way we did, meant everyone stayed safe and no one felt they would be disappointing the kids to say “no”.

It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life, to become an Ordained Minister and to have not only the responsibility of writing the kids’ wedding ceremony, but also to have the incredible honor of marrying them. I’m not sure I have ever seen a more beautiful Bride, in my life, than my Daughter. I have posted more of the wedding photos on my Facebook page, you can find them here, if you would like:

In the coming weeks, the kids hope to be able to surprise my Parents and Aunt by dressing up and surprising them at their Assisted Living Facility.

As life starts to, hopefully, slow down just a little, I hope to be able to return to blogging more regularly. As you now know, I have been pretty preoccupied in the last couple of months and trying hard to conserve energy I don’t have.

Once again, I want to take time to sincerely thank all of you. Your comments, emails, tweets, messages and texts of love and support kept me going through some truly challenging times. It never ceases to amaze or humble me, to have so much support from so many people. I want you to know that I felt the love, strength and prayers that you all extended.

As I close and read over my post, please let it serve as a reminder of how strong we ALL are. Despite our illnesses, despite our challenges, despite FightingWithFibro and the endless struggle of living a live that can sometimes be considered diminished, look at ALL we still have.

I will still cry my way through the pain, lash out in anger over my limitations, occasionally be depressed and constantly filled with anxiety. However, I will also never forget still having the strength and courage to fight for my Son or the privilege of marrying my own child and witnessing that marriage. For as much as we live with, as much as we suffer; happiness, joy, gratitude and fulfillment are still possible. This is why we fight.

Looking forward to getting back to you all. Much Love <3 Stace

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Fighting with Fibro and Living With Purpose. Mom, Wife, Blogger and animal lover. Fighting with Chronic Illness on a minute by minute basis; sometimes winning.

16 thoughts on “Injuries, Elopements and Flares. Oh My!

  1. I’m a Minister too. You could have called me, oh…that wouldn’t work. So glad everything worked out just as God planned! She looks beautiful and I know she must feel a huge weight off her shoulders. Great first newsletter! No……who wants to doa newslettter. that’s a real stressor. So glad your happy and your son is on the way to health. I understand the scars but they become apart of who we are. Hugs!

    1. He’s fine with the scars-they don’t bother him. Plus, they’re a huge reminder of ALL he fought through (and continues to fight through) and all he has overcome.
      They’re just crazy-bad. Poor kid.
      Once again, can never lose sight of how extremely lucky he got.

      Plus, (while terribly tiring in the beginning), it’s been nice to have him home for a while.

      1. LOL. Well first he’d need to be able to pour himself a drink, make anything to eat or write, BUT….we’ll get him there. One day and one gain at a time; we’re taking it!
        It’s a humble & beautiful thing to watch him recover (ever so slowly).

      2. Nope. Can’t pour a glass of water, either……or open anything. Or cut, hold a pen, drive, make a bed, pump the handsoap, lift or carry.
        He’s still in casts, too. He just takes his arms/hands out to breathe and do his home therapy…..

      3. I didn’t realize he was still in cast. WOW, he does have a long road. The great thing is home therapy works as well as going to PT. After my knee surgery, I did my own therapy here, I was not going to go somewhere three days a week to show me something I can do at home. 🙂

      4. Oh he still goes, in person, too. But they’ve been good, because it’s an hour away, they’re doing one-one hour session per week. Although that’s partially do to staff constraints too. Then he has assignments for home, too.
        Needless to say, oh yes! Still a very long way to go! But with each gain, he gets a teeny bit closer.
        At least, too, OT made him special casts he can occasionally take off to get a break. He was over the moon to feel the cats fur last week, after three months. LOL.
        The technology is amazing, where he’s at! Which is why we fought to get him there.

  2. Oh Stacey how wonderful to read this. It brought me such happiness and strength. Yes in the midst of all we go through we still have lots to give still and it’s times like what you’ve experienced that challenge us to do just that. The pictures of your sons hands are a reminder of the Love and Mercy of God. Things could have been so much worse. Thank God he’s doing better and healing well. Your daughter looked beautiful. You all did. What beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing. I continue to pray for you all. I hope you are resting and feeling better. 🙏🏻❤️

    1. You’re such a sweetie, Sandy. Thank you. ❤️
      You’re SO right about his scars, Sandy. He wears them like a badge of honor (young and male, LOL)….but for me, they’re a constant reminder of how bad it almost was and how much worse it could have been. Thank God Almighty, I resorted to an Attorney (not my first inclination)……getting the Surgeon I fought for was crucial. He’s like a Superhero and is saying, despite one more possible surgery, that Colton should regain function. Albeit in still more months.
      Initially, Sandy, I feared he’d be disabled and he’s only 24. I cried a million tears praying he wouldn’t be forced to live as I do.
      BUT…….he’s doing good. Slow. But good. So I’ll take it. We’re hoping he’ll be recovered by Christmas.

      As for my Daughter, isn’t she though?? My word…..whenever I put her necklace on (the final touch) and she turned to me, I gasped…she was so beautiful she took my breath away.
      I was honored to be able to marry them and so grateful, that despite my health, we pulled it off and the kids had a dream day.
      I was sick and suffering, most of the week we were away, but it was a great reminder that there is still life, despite illness.
      For now, life is a battle. It’s a cycle of run, cry, rest and repeat..but it’s isn’t forever, for me. For my Son-getting through this right is his forever. And I’ll do anything for my (now 4) kids.

      I hugely appreciate your thoughts, prayers and support. Thank you. Truly. ❤️

  3. I’m glad you fid a personal update! Congratulations on gaining a son and same to the happy couple! Glad your son finally got his surgery, too. Hoping for the best for you all. Xx

    1. Mykie, I almost forgot to respond to you, but you’re WAY too important to miss!! (dang Fibro Fog)
      Awwwww. Thank you ❤️
      I absolutely gained a Son. We’re so Blessed to have such a great young man join our family. It fills my heart to see all four kids together and goofing around, having fun.
      In the *craziest* world I live in, while moving around their apartment my new Son dropped a glass table through his toe…..broke it in multiple places, needed stitches twice and now waiting to hear if he needs surgery. Oi vei. Seriously? I’m putting the rest of my crew in a bubble…..
      As for my birth Son, oh Michelle, we’re SO grateful, it makes me cry. The prognosis was not good….the Surgeon initially said his hand would never be the same and he’d hope to give him some function back….the worst words you could hear about your child. The prognosis has improved ten fold! And while we still have months of PT and a long road, he will eventually recover.
      The wedding was beautiful! Bittersweet, but beautiful.
      So we’re getting there, slowly…..
      I’ve been thinking of you a lot and hoping you’re doing okay and improving……take good care of yourself. All my love ❤️❤️

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